Once again I am in a place where the differences in my speech extend further than my friends' and my different pronunciations of "roof," "coyote," "creek," and "Chicago". I've conceded defeat when it comes to repeating "Illinois" sans "s," to people, and instead just smile and nod when others comment on my being from Illinoizuh (although my inner Illinoisan still cringes slightly). But my Midwest/American accent constantly serves as a reality check for me, in both positive and negative ways, and is a daily reminder of my surroundings and my foreignness in relation to them.
Sometimes the reminder is awe-inspiring. It urges me to stop and look around and encourages me to try and really see the place I'm in, to recognize the amazing opportunity I have been given. I get to experience an entirely new culture and environment, and in doing so will become a more holistic person. While 11 weeks is certainly a long time away from home, it is a long time that I get to spend with amazing children who need love, wonderful staff who are shining examples of passion and joy, and other summer staff and volunteers who have all come together to share in this time with each other and offer unique gifts. Those who know me well will confirm how much I desire just to learn, and I will definitely gain so much more knowledge and wisdom at the end of this summer. I have already made new friends here and have enjoyed sharing our stories, opinions and interests with one another. And with a multicultural staff I am continuously reminded of where I am and how incredible this opportunity is.
On the other hand, I wish there was some way to blend in more. I instantaneously become an outsider as soon as I walk past the gates of NDC, and the fact that I speak only a few of the most basic Chinese phrases does not help my situation. No matter how much I may desire to learn and grow, I know my experience will be limited by my foreignness. I am not part of the community, I am not even part of the nation. I live on the other side of the world and will not ever be able to fully comprehend what it is like to live in this small village in China. Even if I were to live here and study the language and culture for years, I will always have an accent. I love the easy access to witness and participate marginally in village life, but there is normally someone taking a picture fairly conspicuously of me. I get to glimpse this whole new world but am restricted to hovering in its atmosphere, never landing and really breathing its air.
I don't know what this means for me yet, and I don't know just how much it will impact my stay here. I hope to find a way to still gather the most understanding I can from the next 10 weeks as I possibly can. Perhaps as my Chinese improves and my face becomes more familiar my engagement in the community will increase. No matter what, though, I often think of how the world is still beautiful in this hemisphere, and I look forward to uncovering what China has in store for me.
Sometimes the reminder is awe-inspiring. It urges me to stop and look around and encourages me to try and really see the place I'm in, to recognize the amazing opportunity I have been given. I get to experience an entirely new culture and environment, and in doing so will become a more holistic person. While 11 weeks is certainly a long time away from home, it is a long time that I get to spend with amazing children who need love, wonderful staff who are shining examples of passion and joy, and other summer staff and volunteers who have all come together to share in this time with each other and offer unique gifts. Those who know me well will confirm how much I desire just to learn, and I will definitely gain so much more knowledge and wisdom at the end of this summer. I have already made new friends here and have enjoyed sharing our stories, opinions and interests with one another. And with a multicultural staff I am continuously reminded of where I am and how incredible this opportunity is.
On the other hand, I wish there was some way to blend in more. I instantaneously become an outsider as soon as I walk past the gates of NDC, and the fact that I speak only a few of the most basic Chinese phrases does not help my situation. No matter how much I may desire to learn and grow, I know my experience will be limited by my foreignness. I am not part of the community, I am not even part of the nation. I live on the other side of the world and will not ever be able to fully comprehend what it is like to live in this small village in China. Even if I were to live here and study the language and culture for years, I will always have an accent. I love the easy access to witness and participate marginally in village life, but there is normally someone taking a picture fairly conspicuously of me. I get to glimpse this whole new world but am restricted to hovering in its atmosphere, never landing and really breathing its air.
I don't know what this means for me yet, and I don't know just how much it will impact my stay here. I hope to find a way to still gather the most understanding I can from the next 10 weeks as I possibly can. Perhaps as my Chinese improves and my face becomes more familiar my engagement in the community will increase. No matter what, though, I often think of how the world is still beautiful in this hemisphere, and I look forward to uncovering what China has in store for me.