Although it is impossible to ever know for sure, I have a fairly good idea of why My Girl has been in such a joyful mood the past week or so. She can't fully understand what is happening, but I think somehow, subconsciously, she knows there are amazing people who have made a commitment to love, cherish and care for her.
That's right, last week it was confirmed that My Girl has been matched with an adoptive family!
I suppose I should stop calling her My Girl now, since she now belongs to other wonderful people who have claimed her for their very own. In reality, I'm actually her girl. I don't have any legitimate reason to be possessive or protective of her. But since that very first day she stole a part of my heart away, and she will always own a piece of me. There is nothing I have wanted more since arriving in China than for her to find a forever family, to find a place where she can always call home and will always feel love. Now that she has, I've realized she was never really "my girl". But she is so special to me, she is so fearfully and wonderfully made, I can't help but wish she could be mine somehow.
Don't get me wrong, there is no way I think I'm ready to be a mom right now, and I'm not planning on adopting any of the adorable children here at NDFH. I do, however, wish that there was someway for me to have a more permanent role in My Girl's life. In the few weeks I've gotten to spend with her I've made so many memories, and I wish I could get to see her grow up. What will her interests be? What will her favorite color be? What will be her favorite Disney princess? Will she like to run around playing sports outside, or will she prefer to curl up with a Magic Tree House book instead? Mostly, though, I want to know that she will be reassured at every step in her life that she has been, is and always will be loved. So far, her family of nannies and volunteers and other orphan children have always wanted what is best for her. Now her forever family will continue to do the same.
I hope she knows that I will never forget her. Just like she somehow knows there is a family that is hers, I want her to understand that I am hers as well. When she grows up and thinks back on when she was just a small child, I can only wish she knows that someone was there to hold her when she cried, to tickle her when she wouldn't smile, to clap hands with when she succeeded. That there was someone who lied down with her in the crook of their shoulder and watched her play. Who thought at that moment, This is what love is. This is what hope and joy and grace are. This is all life should be. This is what you, my precious little girl, deserve.
And praise be to whatever powers may be that what she deserves she soon will have.
That's right, last week it was confirmed that My Girl has been matched with an adoptive family!
I suppose I should stop calling her My Girl now, since she now belongs to other wonderful people who have claimed her for their very own. In reality, I'm actually her girl. I don't have any legitimate reason to be possessive or protective of her. But since that very first day she stole a part of my heart away, and she will always own a piece of me. There is nothing I have wanted more since arriving in China than for her to find a forever family, to find a place where she can always call home and will always feel love. Now that she has, I've realized she was never really "my girl". But she is so special to me, she is so fearfully and wonderfully made, I can't help but wish she could be mine somehow.
Don't get me wrong, there is no way I think I'm ready to be a mom right now, and I'm not planning on adopting any of the adorable children here at NDFH. I do, however, wish that there was someway for me to have a more permanent role in My Girl's life. In the few weeks I've gotten to spend with her I've made so many memories, and I wish I could get to see her grow up. What will her interests be? What will her favorite color be? What will be her favorite Disney princess? Will she like to run around playing sports outside, or will she prefer to curl up with a Magic Tree House book instead? Mostly, though, I want to know that she will be reassured at every step in her life that she has been, is and always will be loved. So far, her family of nannies and volunteers and other orphan children have always wanted what is best for her. Now her forever family will continue to do the same.
I hope she knows that I will never forget her. Just like she somehow knows there is a family that is hers, I want her to understand that I am hers as well. When she grows up and thinks back on when she was just a small child, I can only wish she knows that someone was there to hold her when she cried, to tickle her when she wouldn't smile, to clap hands with when she succeeded. That there was someone who lied down with her in the crook of their shoulder and watched her play. Who thought at that moment, This is what love is. This is what hope and joy and grace are. This is all life should be. This is what you, my precious little girl, deserve.
And praise be to whatever powers may be that what she deserves she soon will have.